Well, I dropped off the old blog wagon, didn't I? Late spring and summer were tough months for me. My depression can take me over and makes it difficult to want to do anything.
Lately, my depression has let up and I've been doing a few more things that are fun and more active. I spent a bunch of time taking classes at www.simplify101.com. It has been amazing to me how much getting some control of my physical space helped me to feel better about myself. Who wouldn't want to keep going with that???
Anywhoo, I've been taking online classes at simplify101 and making Cards for Heroes--another thing that has taken myself out of my depressed head. I spent a day and a half making cards recently, in response to a challenge that one of my scrapbooking pals issued. It was amazing to me how much I thought about the soldiers who would receive these cards that they will use to send home to their loved ones and friends.
Not much with poetry lately (or reading for that matter). It is so hard for me to concentrate on anything during a depression...
I had an unexpected reaction last weekend to Senator Ted Kennedy's funeral. I was stunned on the day he died, feeling like something was missing. Even though I am not very political, I can't deny the effect the Kennedy family has had in America. Anyway, I happened to turn on the TV last weekend and caught a bit of the arrival of the Kennedy family outside the church and I watched the procession of his casket into the church.
I've been to many funerals; I've sung at funeral masses--my favorite to do because it's such a comfort to the family, and I've certainly seen my share on TV...At not one other funeral did I cry--sob--so much. I felt bad for the Kennedy family, but I was aware that the real reason I was crying was 1) because his funeral reminded me of my Dad's and 2) I couldn't display this kind of grief at Daddy's funeral.
I held my emotions in check at Daddy's funeral for a couple of reasons. I was very uncomfortable crying in front of other people and I didn't want to call attention to myself. I also felt very much that if I cried, I'd never stop and I couldn't let that happen. I'm still struggling with that one ;-)... Well, I cried tears for Daddy and for the little girl who couldn't cry and for the Kennedy's and their pain and, although tired when I finished, I felt better.
I've discovered that my grief is like that--in the way back of my mind until something like this triggers it. I'm working really hard to just accept it and feel it when it happens now instead of questioning why this is still happening and what triggered it. Feeling my feelings is REALLY hard for me but I'm doing it anyway in the hopes that they don't run over me like a mack truck and to learn that I'll be OK during and after the feeling. Toward that effort, I'm also trying to take time each day to reminisce and invite my feelings to come up and then FEEL them for goodness sake!
It's a journey...not a destination. Sending good wishes out into the world.
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They are not dead,
ReplyDeleteWho leave us this great heritage of remembering joy.
They still live in our hearts,
In the happiness we knew, in the dreams we shared.
They still breathe,
In the lingering fragrance,windblown, from their favourite flowers.
They still smile in the moonlight’s silver,
And laugh in the sunlight’s sparking gold.
They still speak in the echoes of the words we’ve heard them say again and again.
They still move,
In the rhythm of waving grasses, in the dance of the tossing branches.
They are not dead;
Their memory is warm in our hearts, comfort in our sorrow.
They are not apart from us, but part of us,
For love is eternal,
And those we love shall be with us throughout all eternity.
Anon
Deb,
ReplyDeleteThank you, the poem is so beautiful and one I'll return to often. I'll probably even scrapbook it! You're so good to me! See you Tuesday!