Bullying

I've always hated bullies. I work very hard to protect others from bullying. I figure I'll get hurt someday facing down a bully...

What a shock it was to discover that I've allowed myself to be bullied for years...

I've been working hard on changing what I think about myself and how I internally talk to myself. My therapist has been gently pointing this out to me for a while, but the following analogy was so vivid that I couldn't help but wake up! She asked me how I would react if my daughter was playing right field on a softball team. My daughter missed a catch and the coach berated her and suggested that she was the worst player. She suggested that she wouldn't even get better with practice and she should just leave the field.

My therapist asked me how I would react, and I pretty much said the coach had better watch her back! She then shared another situation. My daughter was playing right field on a softball team. She missed a catch and the coach said, good try! I bet with more practice you'll get better; let's work together after the game. My reaction this time? I love this coach!

Her point??? Why am I letting the "bad coach" bully me and say such terribly negative things about me? And why do I let it speak to me so relentlessly??? Is it possible that the "good coach" could take over?

Good questions! I rarely even think of other people and their behavior as a bad coach would. I'm so much nicer to other people than I am to myself. Why would I do it to myself? Well, there are myriad and obvious reasons for this, but the real point of this story is this. I've always hated bullies and I can't remember a time when I didn't stand up to them. My will is really strong (how could it not be after so many years of the bad coach blabbing in my head(-; ) so I stood up to this bully, the one inside my mind. I fired her in no uncertain terms. No one treats me like this! I like the supportive coach helping me to get better and cheer me on as I practice new ways to think about myself. I'll admit, sometimes that bully makes an appearance and takes over, but as soon as I notice her, the reinforcements arrive and she's escorted off the field!

So far so good...